"The one happiness in life is to love and to be loved"
A few months ago I was online trying to do some research for my dissertation when I sidetracked and stumbled on a video. I suppose it was a moment of epiphany and I allowed my curiosity to spiral into what would be my topic for my thesis.
The more I dug, the more I couldn't help wonder if technology really has changed the way we love. Helen Fisher claims technology hasn't changed love, but I agree to disagree. From my 5-month long research, I've come to understand that we are a pair-bonding species, and although we do not necessarily stay faithful to one partner, we are inevitably in need of love and companionship - a theory that Abraham Maslow has made famous. The Internet offers so much opportunity and availability through social media for us to meet an array of people all at our fingertips. Imagine, at a click of a button, we can now meet mutual friends, people in our area, and even those across great oceans. Yet, with such power comes great risks - the risk of compatibility, intimacy, and infidelity.
Indeed, technology has changed the way that we court. As our grandmothers recall a time of receiving heart-fluttering letters from past lovers and being gifted lockets with precious pictures, we have now resorted to receiving instant messages and likes in replacement. Technology has also diminished the very essence of personal contact and intimacy that one feels when meeting a person whom you believe you have feelings for. Although apps like FaceTime and Zoom play a key role in bringing people together despite distances, truthfully, how can you truly appreciate chivalry from a screen?
Besides, the anonymity of the Internet creates for a playground of fluidity where people are allowed to be who they want to be. If placed in the right hands, it can contribute greatly to humanity, but fallen into the wrong ones and it births sexual predators and scammers promising love in return for money, sexual favors and/or citizenship. Depending on the intention, I honestly believe that compatibility can be faked or nurtured, so it is often difficult to truly know the person on the other side of the screen. Need I say more when the intention of a person is infidelity?
So to some extent, I agree that technology hasn't changed the way we love, but in retrospect, it has changed the way we court and maintain relationships. Whatever it is, I agree that any understanding of human relationships must consider one of the most powerful determinants of human behavior: the unquenchable, adaptable, primordial human drive to love.