We've seen it all too often on soap-operas and Hollywood movies - the cheating husband sneaks off for a weekend rendezvous with the secretary or the occasional jab at the poster child (or poster couple) for scandalous relationships: Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, which reciprocates as the talking points for gossip groups and references for (almost) all developing, maintaining and/or dissolute relationships.
Conceptualized into a simple 8-letter word, the term 'cheating' or the better academic reference 'infidelity' has been so heavily romanticized that it can hold a variety of meanings and an even greater myriad of emotions. To some, it signals the beginning of a very juicy story, for others, it could mean an endless stream of unfolding dramatics, while some people might simply just feel a sensation of emotions like anger and heartache. Yet it is undeniable that whatever feelings you may feel about the topic, cheating almost always inflicts some sense of betrayal, even if you have or have not personally experienced it.
Taking all the above into consideration and leaning into some of my own personal experiences and of those that are around me, with the use of my thesis, I decided to embark on this journey to find out about the inner workings of Malaysian young adults and their use of social media for cheating on their romantic partners. The official research question for my thesis is,
Does social media facilitate the engagement of infidelity amongst Malaysian young adults who are dissatisfied in their romantic relationships?
Since young adults are the most plausible group that will rely on social media for just about anything and being a young adult myself, I decided to limit the participant group from ages 20 to 29 - also due to the short time frame for the research, a smaller dataset was easiest. To also add a bit of fun and uphold some standards for my study a few interesting questions were included in the survey too. Some of the juicier sections of my demographic questions inquired about participants' current relationship status, a direct question on whether they have or have not cheated on their romantic partner and if they indeed had an alternative partner on the side (an alternative partner is an individual who is romantically involved with someone who is already in a committed relationship with another person).
The survey generated an interesting combination of answers and provided much information that has proven to be very insightful. The results aided in the debunking of some stereotyped myths such as, "if I treat him/her right, the likelihood them leaving me is slim" and "I am satisfied in my relationship, so it is unlikely that I would not cheat on my partner" while testing the validity of some relationship truths that were supposed to be 'common knowledge'. The data retrieved has also helped answer the following hypotheses:
Do different levels of relationship satisfaction impact the likelihood of engaging in social media infidelity-related behaviours?
Why do some dissatisfied romantic partners engage in alternative partners?
Does social media usage create new and easier opportunities for seeking out alternative partners?
While as fun as the research was, the key question on everyone's mind was simply this: what caused lovers to cheat? Was there a cheat sheet for combating this relationship epidemic? Well, unfortunately, the fact of the matter was this: No matter how amazing a lover you are or were if your romantic partner wants or wanted to cheat, they will do it. The only way to keep them is if they want to be kept. Although it is a difficult concept to grasp, this was the end result for the majority of much research done throughout the century and of my own research.
In short, for those that weren't already aware, this thesis has been my proudest work and never have I ever slaved away at a piece of writing as I did for this paper. So I won't spoil all the good parts for you (; To view my full thesis, click here.
Related: Full Thesis of The Love Triangle
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” – 1 Corinthians 13:1
The past 1.5 years has proven to be challenging and I was tested and tried like I never was. In this chapter, I had the privilege to meet some incredible people, learned new skills and expanded my horizons. At the same time, I also learned what the term "adulting" truly meant and how cruel sometimes life can be. Along the way, I won some battles and also lost some people, but in the end, I've realized it was a journey worth travelling.
To the Big Man upstairs, all praises and gratitude for His continuous shower of blessing, favour and inspiration throughout my research and my life, for which without, none of this would be possible.
To my family, I thank you for your undying support, love, prayers and sacrifices for educating and preparing me for an amazing and bright future ahead.
To Dr Tan Meng Yoe, I am truly grateful for the constant support, guidance and encouragement throughout the whole writing process. For with educators like you, the world will truly be a better and brighter place.
To my friends that have stuck by me through thick and thin, I thank you for going on this journey with me, and for making this chapter so much more enjoyable and memorable. A special shoutout to Swing & Ming Zhang, Wei Yap & Wei Lin, Miki, Yan Ting & Hades, Brenda & Gabriel, Bradley, Yuvi, Curie and Ee Jian, as we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have a ton of friends, and more important to have real ones. I am well aware of my reliance on all of you in this past year, and the completion of this journey would have been otherwise impossible without all your support and encouragement. If I failed to mention your name, please don't take it to heart. Either way, I thank you all, and I truly appreciate all that every single one of you has done for me. You all are always in my prayers.
Lastly, to my dearest Michael, if I know what love is, it is because of you. Thank you for being the inspiration behind this entire research. I wish you nothing but the best and I do hope you find what you're searching for.